so incredibly much

oh my gosh.
i miss you.
so much.

we'll call it a guideline

I need a schedule, routine... something. I don't want a day so structured I have no time for spontaneity or random fun moments; I just want a typical order to my day so I get the things done I want and need to. So I don't just sit around and waste time then at the end of the day wonder where all the time went. I figure writing it down it the first step, right? We'll find out I guess....

7:00 get up
8:15 leave for campus
8:40-11:50 class
12:15 lunch
1:00-3:00 homework
3:00-6:00 fluff
6:00 dinner
7:00-9:00 homework
9:00-10:00 run
10:00-12:00 fluff
12:00 bed time

I feel like I'm back at summer camp with a daily schedule complete with built in eating times, scheduled activities, and free time :)
Not sure how much I like this routine but we'll see how it works. Main point is I want to get running back into my daily routine. Problem being I don't want it to be in the middle of the day and I tend to put it off if I don't have scheduled time to do it. meh, oh well... wish me luck.

i don't get it.

-to...

-to laugh uncontrollably
-to spend a night out(or in) just with the girls
-to have someone that makes them smile simply by walking in the room
-to be drama free
-to feel safe and comforted simply by being held
-to be surprised
-to give surprises
-to be desired
-to feel secure in life
-to have someone that says the right things
-to get dressed up- hair, make-up, outfit, the works
-to have someone that will fight for her
-to be understood
-to have that friend that will always be there
-to be successful
-to have someone to listen
-to travel the world... or explore the town
-to have a picnic

dictionary- words of uncertainty

words that we use to answer yes or no questions that may really mean no when they sound like a yes

eventually- a nonspecific time frame for when you don't know when or, better yet, if it will ever happen.

maybe- not likely but not a flat out 'no'

might- quite likely but not wanting to fully commit by saying 'yes'

possible, possibly- could happen, but don't count on it

probable, probably- the probability is high

perhaps- a just plan flaky term...the person using it is probably uncertain of it's meaning as well

sure- a way of saying yes when you really want to answer no

this is a work in progress... the wordings i want to use are not coming to me :/

*untitled*

One thing you learn very quickly in life is you can not please everyone. You also can't be in more than one place at a time.... if you could do this it'd make the first lesson much easier to accomplish.

You have to make decisions. It's life, there's no way out of it. One choice will make one person happy while it may make another just as important person not happy. A second choice, just the opposite.

So how do you choose? You have to go with your gut. You have to do what's best for you. You have to weigh the pros and cons. The only way to find out which is the right choice is to take a risk... and then you still may not know.

I recently made a decision to stay in Columbia over the summer. For many reasons- some larger than others. It was by no means an easy decision... ask Molly. She got the hour long discussion of it cause I trust her opinion and she would be neither in STL nor in COMO this summer so her p.o.v. would be mostly non-bias.

I talked my way through my two options and what would be good about and bad about each decision. Obviously, I ultimately decided to stay in Columbia. I had no doubts about whether or not I made the right decision... until Memorial day. Previous to that day I had the support of my parents, 2 of my best friends I talked about it with, and all of my friends that were also staying in COMO for summer. Now I feel as thought I've let some people down.

this is in no way finished... or getting to the point I originally intended to make but I think I'm done for now.

give and take

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."